My Neck

(Initially posted on Facebook in October)

Got the results of my MRI today. Apparently I have a congenital defect -- the C2 and C3 vertebrae are partially fused.

There is disk bulging at several points, and spurring at several places produces "slight contact with the anterior cord and deformity." There is also narrowing and some "rotational" stuff (not sure what that is).

And most interesting to me because I have NO idea what it means: The tip of my odontoid lies quite close to my clivus. (I'm writing this straight from the report. I didn't even know I had a clivus and odontoid. Certainly wouldn't have put them in my neck if someone asked where they went.) I really like that sentence, though: The tip of the odontoid lies quite close to the clivus. It tickles me.

So I'm going to get a CT scan next, and my doctor has referred me to a neurosurgeon. Whee. I got my MRI films today -- neat. Although I can't tell what everything is, I can see my brain. I've seen all sorts of pictures of brains, but this one is *my* brain. It's weird how that makes a difference.

But anyway, in short, this is all my parents' fault. :-)

Oh! And I found out that the itchiness that I always got when I took hydrocodone is actually an allergy to codeine and I'm not supposed to take it anymore. You know, I knew that itchiness indicated allergies -- I even took an antihistamine every time I took hydrocodone. But I guess it just never connected. Anyway, my doc says no more codeine. Darn. :-)

The Boot Saga

(Initially posted on Facebook in September)

So I found these awesome boots on Zappos. I love boots; they're all I'd wear if I could. (With clothes, that is.) These particular boots were dark cherry red patent polyurethane, knee-high (and waterproof!). Gorgeous. But did I need them? Not sure. So I put them in my cart and left them there ...

I realized about a week later when I was talking about "my" boots as if I'd already bought them that it didn't matter if I needed them. They were mine. Body, heart, and soul. So I ordered them.

Now Zappos has one of those really cool systems where they save your information so all you have to do is click "Order" and you're done. No pesky forms to fill out or credit card information to enter. You just click order, and that's it. Voila! Boots are on their way.

It would have been nice if I had realized that when I clicked that "Order" button, because as I did so, I realized that they still had my old address. No big deal, right, I have to enter my new address anyway, right?

No! Ahhhhh! Stop that internet message! Ahhhh. It went through. What to do?!?? #&^*!@%

OK, breathe. Stop panicking. (The order just went through! No pesky (or in my case, necessary) forms to fill out. No red tape. It. Just. Went. Through.) Kersplickety!

Well, that's ok, I thought. (Deep breath) The address doesn't match my credit card anymore, so they'll kick back the order and say it can't be processed and then I can enter my new information.

Fuduggit! The order went through! What to do? What to do? Oh! Look! They have a live 24/7 chat; I'll just log on there ... and wait ... and wait ... and wait some more ... until I finally get the message that something's wrong with their chat system.

Ok, not the end of the world. I'll send them an email: Dear Zappos, I just ordered some uber-cool boots, but my old address was in your system. Can you please change it to my new address (inserted here).

(Aside: as I was writing this message, I received one from Zappos saying my order had been expedited. Normally, a good thing. In this situation? Not so good.)

A very nice customer service person named Zach wrote back (very quickly too) to say that, sorry, the order had already been processed, so no, they could not change the address. (Already processed?! In twenty minutes? Who the hell do they have working for them and why aren't they working at my local Taco Bell?!?!?!) But, Zach wrote, it's no problem, just call Zach in the morning and he (or some other customer service person) can contact UPS and have UPS change the address. Easy-peasey, right?

No! After I called the next morning to get this sorted out, I received an email saying that they had upgraded my order from ground to overnight so UPS could not change the address as it was too far into the system. Ahhhhh! Normally, awesome. Now, BAD.

But, since zappos couldn't get it changed, they gave me a proactive refund. I love zappos for being so understanding, but I don't want the refund, I want my boots!! If they get returned, please send them to me! I'll even pay for shipping!

OK, only thing left to do is go by the old house (weird) and ask for my boots. As soon as I could (didn't think it would be right to go by after dark -- don't want them to think some creep is at their door), I went by there. And guess what? The day before, the new owner took them back to UPS! AHHHHH!

First, how can someone be so on top of things?! Didn't she ever hear about leaving something for two weeks until she finally got around to doing something about it? Sheesh. Second, if it were me in her situation, I would have called my realtor (after about two weeks, the standard let-something-sit-around time) and asked him to call their realtor to find out where the boots should be sent. Easy, right? Apparently, not.

So now, my boots are back in UPS hands and I don't know what they do with unwanted packages. So I called the local UPS store to find out. UPS store gave me the 800 number for UPS ... which turned out to be an adults-only porn line. AHHHHH! (For real) (I hung up before the warning message ended.)

Turns out UPS store guy had transposed two of the numbers. Finally got the right number and called to find out that my boots were in UPS custody and were being held until I could get there to release them ... during normal business hours, of course.

Next day, first thing, I went to UPS. Got my package. Put it in the trunk. Figured after all I went through, if they didn't fit, the rest of my day would be ruined. So I got my other errand done (returning the #6 dvd (that was left in my dvd player) from a dvd series that I had already returned (two weeks before ... note the standard two-week let-it-sit-around time) that they were going to charge me $89.99 for ... what?!?!?!?!) and had a meeting with my boss, and then went home to try on my boots.

As I opened the package (after debating whether I should eat lunch first), I wondered whether they would look as good in the flesh as they did online. What if they didn't? Could I really return them after all the fuss?

I opened the box, peeled away the paper and .... they were (are) gorgeous. Shiny, dark red. Glossy. Passionate. Just what I look for in a good pair of boots.

Now the real test ... would they fit? I first went upstairs and got a couple pairs of socks. Have to be sure, you know. And then I pulled them on.

And they fit! Wah-HAH! HA-HA!!!! HA HA HA HA!!! After all that, they fit!!!

So I now have a perfect pair of shiny, cherry red, waterproof boots to "walk all over ... you." (I'll only walk (or, rather, frolic -- one cannot merely walk in such fabulous boots as these) in puddles, actually)

Ha! This will be the start of a beautiful relationship.

Dragon Update

In a last-ditch (and reluctant -- I only did it because I felt sorry for the people who must be missing Dragon) effort to find Dragon's owners, I took him to our vet to see if he had a microchip. I figured declawed, neutered, and in great shape (clean ears!) that there was a good chance.

The vet tech at the office said that it's rare for a cat to be chipped, but when she ran the little chip reader over him, it turned out he did have one. (While she was writing down the number, he escaped and went gallumphing around the office. But then, what safer place to escape in than a vet's office?)

Unfortunately, the chip wasn't registered, so she gave me the name and number of the place that had inserted the chip. When I called them, the woman on the line had me read the number twice. Then she said, "Well, this says he's a dog." Hm. I said back to her, "No, he is most certainly not a dog." (She did not laugh. I thought it was funny. Go figure.) A moment of silence and then she says, "Well. I don't know what to do now."

So we kept the cat. Decided he was sent to us to fill the cat space left in our hearts when Mannan died.

Dragon (The Cat)

(Initially posted on Facebook in September)

So, yes, we (I) "rescued" a cat. Normally, I don't think anything of cats prowling the hood. I mean, that's normal, right? But when I saw this one, a cat I'd never seen before, trying to claw our tree, it was obvious that he was declawed.

Now, I have always been under the impression that declawed cats should be indoor cats, so I went to check him out. No tag, neutered, confirmed declawed, and in great shape. So someone must be missing him, right?

Since I've seen coyotes around here, I thought it best to bring him in for the night, and I stayed up late making a flyer. Next morning, I taped the flyer to all of the community mailboxes in our area.

And no response. He's super affectionate -- aggressively so -- he'll just throw himself (literally) in your lap, totally contemptuous of gravity. He wants to be friends with our other cats (i kept them separated for awhile but his plaintive yowling wore me down), and he's indifferent to the dogs, one of which *really* wants to play with him. (Admittedly, she *really* wants to play with everything and everyone.)

And then Aaron went and named him! If no one comes forth soon, I'm afraid we may have a third cat. Unless you want him ....

About Time

I figure it's about time I started a blog, so here goes. In order to populate it and feel less daunted by needing to populate it, I'm gonna go back through some of my more memorable (to me) emails and posts and paste them here. So you may have read much of what goes on here initially, but I hope that you will enjoy them (again).